LETTER TO UNCLE

To Uncle,

It's been a while since the last time I saw you. I was in a really bad shape when I heard the news that you've moved into the next level of life. I wasn't sure if I should thank God that at last your pain and suffering has ended or I should blame him for all of it. Well, I know things happen because they are bound to happen. There's really no one to blame, not even God. As what the priest said on his homily "Always expect death to happen and you should be ready for it because life is not always here. There's another world for you to live eternity" Hearing that,I should have known better. We know that you'll never live long when we first heard the news that you have stage 3 cancer. That's the kind of news you don't want to hear on an ordinary day. It was sad and it's the type of bad news that's really hard to process. No wonder I was spacing out for a couple of weeks after that.

I did a little speech on your funeral and I hope you were able to hear it. It was short and I never get the chance to tell you what I really wanted to say. So here it is:

Uncle, thank you for being there for me when I was still a kid. For being a father figure when my Dad was away for work. I treasure all the memories that I have with you, from childhood 'til the last time I saw you. I remember that day when you cried because at last for how many years I was able to visit you. You were in pain but still you manage to make me laugh with your lame jokes. You told me that I should live life the way I wanted it to be. That, I should believe in myself eventhough nobody does and I should dream big because I'm a smart kid with a big brain. I didn't realize you were so proud of me until that conversation. Thank you for believing in me and for helping me realize that I am that person. I never even look at myself that way. You know I was a strange kid growing up.

Thank you for all the free tricycle rides to the plaza, for letting me swim in the beach yard when Lola wasn't around and for looking after me when my parents were busy with work. 'Thank You' is not enough for all the good things you've done for me. I'm sorry if I missed to visit you frequently when you were still here. I was really busy with work and I was still struggling to find myself back then.I hope you understand, I know you would.

We miss your laugh, the way you joke around with us and I will never see you again smoking while sitting in Lola's gate waiting for the sun set.

I hope you're well up there. The big family misses you. It's been months since you're away.  I'm sorry if it took me sometime to write about you. I should have done this on the day you left. I'm such a bad niece for not doing it. Well, life's busy and rough for a couple of months now and I believe it's not only for me but for all of us in the family. Anyways, I would like you to know that I miss you and I hope this letter will reach you.


Love,

Your niece